Created by Jim David, Garfield, the iconic orange tabby cat has been entertaining fans with his unique humor and relatable observations since 1978.
Known for his love of lasagna, disgust for Mondays, and a generally casual attitude, Garfield’s quotes offer a combination of wit and wisdom wrapped in feline charm.
Garfield quotes capture the nature of his comedic standpoint on life’s simple joys, daily irritations, and the art of relaxation.
Top Garfield Quotes
Garfield, the famously witty and sarcastic cat created by Jim Davis, offers a unique perspective on life with his iconic dry humor. These top quotes from Garfield showcase his outlook on everything from food to life’s daily challenges.
“I’m not overweight, I’m undertall.” – Garfield
“If you are what you eat, then I only want to eat the good stuff.” – Garfield
“I hate Mondays.” – Garfield
“It’s amazing what one can accomplish when one doesn’t know what one can’t do.” – Garfield
“Good times are ahead! Or behind. Because they sure aren’t here.” – Garfield
“Show me a good mouser, and I’ll show you a cat with bad breath.” – Garfield
“Avoid fruits and nuts; after all, you are what you eat.” – Garfield
“I never met a lasagna I didn’t like.” – Garfield
“My idea of cleaning the house is sweeping the floor with a glance.” – Garfield
“Life is like a hot bath. It feels good while you’re in it, but the longer you stay, the more wrinkled you get.” – Garfield
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Garfield Quotes on Laziness
Garfield has turned laziness into an art form. His quotes on laziness humorously justify his love for doing nothing, offering a comical take on the joys of relaxing and avoiding work at all costs.
“I’m not lazy, I’m energy efficient.” – Garfield
“The most active thing about me is my imagination.” – Garfield
“I shall now attempt to do the impossible: Drag myself to the coffee pot.” – Garfield
“Doing nothing is very hard to do…you never know when you’re finished.” – Garfield
“If there were a more lazy person in this world, I’d send them to pick up my award.” – Garfield
“Sometimes I get the urge to exercise… I lie down until it goes away.” – Garfield
“I excel at not caring. I excel at resting.” – Garfield
“You know it’s Monday when you wake up, and it’s Tuesday.” – Garfield
“I’m not loafing. I work so fast I’m always finished.” – Garfield
“I plan on doing nothing today, so please consider this my official resignation from today.” – Garfield
Garfield Quotes on Food
Garfield’s love for food, especially lasagna, is legendary. His humorous outlook on eating not only entertains but also subtly reminds us to enjoy the simple pleasures in life. Here are some of Garfield’s most memorable quotes about his favorite subject: food.
“Diet is ‘die’ with a ‘t’.” – Garfield
“I never met a lasagna I didn’t like.” – Garfield
“Eating is my third favorite thing in the world. I’m still trying to figure out the first two.” – Garfield
“The second mouse gets the cheese.” – Garfield
“I eat too fast to taste my food.” – Garfield
“There’s no such thing as too much of a good thing.” – Garfield
“The most effective alarm clock known to man: lasagna.” – Garfield
“I’m not overweight. I’m undertall and my stomach is in 3D.” – Garfield
“If you are what you eat, then I only want to eat the good stuff.” – Garfield
“When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.” – Garfield
Garfield Quotes on Mondays
Mondays are Garfield’s least favorite day of the week, a sentiment many can relate to. His quotes on Mondays express his disdain in a way that brings a smile, making the start of the week a bit more bearable.
“I hate Mondays.” – Garfield
“Just once, I’d like a Monday to be as enthusiastic as a Friday.” – Garfield
“Monday is the root of all evil.” – Garfield
“Mondays are the start of the workweek which offers new beginnings 52 times a year!” – Garfield
“Monday should be optional.” – Garfield
“The only thing worse than a Monday is a Tuesday that feels like a Monday.” – Garfield
“If each day is a gift, I’d like to know where to return Mondays.” – Garfield
“Monday, you beast, always rolling around at the worst possible time.” – Garfield
“Can we start the weekend over again? I wasn’t ready.” – Garfield
“On Mondays, my coffee needs a coffee.” – Garfield
Garfield Quotes on Life
Garfield’s perspective on life is both humorous and reflective, offering a light-hearted yet insightful take on everyday experiences. These quotes capture his witty observations and remind us to take life a little less seriously.
“Life is like a roller coaster. It has its ups and downs but it’s your choice to scream or enjoy the ride.” – Garfield
“The truth is, there’s never enough time in the day to be lazy.” – Garfield
“I’m not messy, I’m organizationally challenged.” – Garfield
“I’m not always right, but I’m never wrong.” – Garfield
“Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first.” – Garfield
“To err is human, to forgive is feline.” – Garfield
“I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.” – Garfield
“When in doubt, take a nap.” – Garfield
“Happiness is a warm television.” – Garfield
“It’s amazing what one can accomplish when one doesn’t know what one can’t do.” – Garfield
Garfield Quotes on Exercise
Garfield is famously averse to exercise, and his quotes on the subject are both humorous and relatable. His disdain for physical activity highlights his love for comfort and relaxation, making us chuckle at his laziness.
“My idea of exercise is a good, brisk sit.” – Garfield
“Exercise? I thought you said extra fries!” – Garfield
“I’m in shape. Round is a shape.” – Garfield
“I do all my exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I’m doing.” – Garfield
“I don’t exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor.” – Garfield
“Diet is ‘die’ with a ‘t’.” – Garfield
_”I believe in the old adage, ‘No pain, no pain.'” _ – Garfield
“If you want me to exercise, please make it look like a nap.” – Garfield
“I’m allergic to exercise.” – Garfield
“Exercise is a dirty word. Every time I hear it, I wash my mouth out with chocolate.” – Garfield
Garfield Quotes on Happiness
Garfield’s take on happiness is infused with his characteristic humor and wit. These quotes remind us that joy can be found in the simplest pleasures and that sometimes, a laid-back attitude is all you need to enjoy life.
“Happiness is a warm television.” – Garfield
“The secret to happiness is to ignore people who do not want to see you happy.” – Garfield
“I’m not overweight, I’m undertall. That’s why I’m always happy.” – Garfield
“You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?” – Garfield
“Happiness is waking up, looking at the clock, and finding that you still have two hours left to sleep.” – Garfield
“I’m not one to rise to the occasion, but I do appreciate good standing room.” – Garfield
“I find happiness in the simplest of things… like napping.” – Garfield
“I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally. And that makes me happy.” – Garfield
“A good book, a warm fire, and some nice lasagna. That’s happiness.” – Garfield
“Happiness is a lazy cat and a full stomach.” – Garfield
Garfield Quotes on Relationships
Garfield’s perspective on relationships, whether with Jon, Odie, or others, is both cynical and endearing. His quotes capture the complexities and humor found in interactions with those we care about, often highlighting the ups and downs of relationships.
“I tolerate you because I have to, not because I want to.” – Garfield
“Love me, feed me, never leave me.” – Garfield
“It’s not the company that makes me miserable. It’s the people.” – Garfield
“I’m not anti-social; I’m just not user friendly.” – Garfield
“You know it’s love when you’ve had enough but you still want more.” – Garfield
“Why should I have to work for everything? It’s like saying I don’t deserve it.” – Garfield
“I’m not lazy, I’m just very relaxed.” – Garfield
“I may not always be right, but I’m never wrong.” – Garfield
“I don’t do well with people who need explanations.” – Garfield
“Relationships are like a walk in the park. Jurassic Park.” – Garfield
Garfield Quotes on Coffee
Garfield’s love for coffee is well-known, and his humorous take on this daily ritual offers a fun perspective on how essential it can be to start the day. These quotes capture his witty observations and dependence on that perfect cup of coffee.
“Decaffeinated coffee is the devil’s blend.” – Garfield
“I need coffee to help me change the things I can and wine to help me accept the things I can’t.” – Garfield
“My body is a temple where junk food goes to worship, but coffee is the holy water.” – Garfield
“Coffee is my best friend. It keeps me calm and awake.” – Garfield
“I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode until my coffee kicks in.” – Garfield
“I believe humans get a lot done, not because we’re smart, but because we have thumbs so we can make coffee.” – Garfield
“The coffee is strong with this one.” – Garfield
“Give me coffee and no one gets hurt.” – Garfield
“I only need coffee on days ending with ‘y’.” – Garfield
“Coffee: Because hating your job should be done with enthusiasm.” – Garfield
Garfield Quotes on Attitude
Garfield’s attitude is part of what makes him so iconic. His witty, often sarcastic outlook on life offers a humorous take on maintaining a strong and unapologetic attitude. These quotes showcase his unique perspective.
“I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.” – Garfield
“If you can’t convince them, confuse them.” – Garfield
“I’m not bossy. I just have better ideas.” – Garfield
“I’m not lazy, I’m just highly motivated to do nothing.” – Garfield
“I don’t suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.” – Garfield
“I could agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.” – Garfield
“I’m not always right, but I’m never wrong.” – Garfield
“If there’s no chocolate in heaven, I’m not going.” – Garfield
“I’m not short. I’m fun-sized.” – Garfield
“My attitude isn’t bad. It’s in beta.” – Garfield
Garfield Quotes on Sleeping
Garfield is known for his love of sleeping, often taking multiple naps a day. His humorous take on sleep highlights the joy and importance of rest, making us smile and perhaps making us appreciate our own nap times a little more.
“I’m not a morning person. Or a noon person. Or a night person. I am a nap person.” – Garfield
“If people were meant to pop out of bed, we’d all sleep in toasters.” – Garfield
“I love my bed more than I love most people.” – Garfield
“I’m not lazy. I’m on energy-saving mode.” – Garfield
“Sleep is the answer. Who cares what the question is?” – Garfield
“Napping is an art, and I am an artist.” – Garfield
“I’m not just sleeping, I’m inspecting the insides of my eyelids.” – Garfield
“I need my sleep. I can’t be brilliant without it.” – Garfield
“The only thing better than sleeping is eating, and I can do both at once.” – Garfield
“Why rise and shine when you can sleep and snooze?” – Garfield
Garfield Quotes on Annoyances
Garfield has a knack for pointing out life’s annoyances with his signature sarcasm and wit. These quotes capture his humorous frustration with the everyday irritations that we all face, making us laugh at the things that usually make us groan.
“I’m not antisocial. I just don’t like people.” – Garfield
“Why do people annoy me? Let me count the ways.” – Garfield
“I’m surrounded by idiots.” – Garfield
“If you want to annoy me, just ask me to do something.” – Garfield
“People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.” – Garfield
“I’m not in a bad mood. I’m just annoyed.” – Garfield
“I could be a morning person, if morning happened around noon.” – Garfield
“The problem with people is that they’re not cats.” – Garfield
“I’m not grumpy. I’m just incredibly annoyed by everything.” – Garfield
“Some people create their own storms and then get upset when it rains.” – Garfield
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Final Thoughts
“Garfield quotes” offer not just comedic relief; they provide a lens into the world of a cat who has grasped the art of indifference and luxury.
Through his sharp wit and funny observations, Garfield has taught you to embrace life’s simple joys, deal with problems with a shrug, and value relaxation.
His quotes remind you that sometimes, a laid-back attitude and a good laugh are the best ways to navigate the obstacles of life.